Losing our baby ripped my world apart and it felt like it would never, ever be quite right again. In the years since I’ve realized that while the grief lessened and the wound healed, the life – and loss – of that baby changed me forever.
We are far from where we need to be but the movement has been growing for years and is finally making some headway in mainstream birth. But just as it is true that mothers have the right to a dignified birth and true evidence based care, they also have a right to that when it comes to miscarriage.
What if these little ones we grieve still can work good upon this earth?
As you may know, October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. It’s a particular kind of grief that touches so many. According to the Pastoral Guide for Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Newborn Loss, estimates show that one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage. Some estimates are one in three. In the US, there are over… Continue reading 3 Observations About Infant Loss Grief
Sometimes we just don’t know what to do anymore. It seems as though we live in a highly sensitive age where it is near impossible to say anything without offending somebody about something. Yet we know we need to act and we know there are people around us who are hurting and hurting deeply. And… Continue reading When Someone You Love is Grieving Their Baby
My baby’s not an angel. And I’m glad for it. Almost anyone who has ever lost a child has probably heard it or said it themselves. In the midst of condolences or their own processing of grief, they are told that their child is now an angel. We hear it often: You’re now a mommy to… Continue reading Why Our Babies Aren’t Angels…and Why It Matters
“Why did I do this?” She sounded so tired, so exasperated, a hint of fear in her voice as she worked her way through the contraction. I was there supporting her as her doula as she worked to birth her second child. It was clear she was now remembering that there was no way out but… Continue reading Why Am I Doing This? (Suffering for the Sake of Life)